Priorties

Like everyone else, I spend a lot of time waiting in linings, riding the bus, or sitting at red lights, so I have some time to kill with no real productive way of spending it. Times like this, I retreat to one of a dozen or so standard fantasy scenarios I've been working on for the last few years. One of my favorites is to imagine what it would be like if I woke up one morning to find myself in hte past, in my five year old body. I would have advance knowledge of all sorts of things--the direction of technology, which companies to buy at IPO, September 11th, Bush, Iraq, Harry Potter...

Wait a minute. Harry Potter. Do you realize how close we are to that book coming out? The anticipated release date is sometime in 2007, which is right around the corner. Not to mention Spiderman 3, Batman 2, Hellboy 2, Sin City 2, and Joss Whedon's Wonder Woman. They're so close I can taste it. I have a lot to live for.

Thinking it through, that would mean that I'd have to wait eighteen years just to find out if Harry really is the eighth horacrux. I'd have to wait even longer to see Joss Whedon pwn at the box office, and I won't even waste my time hoping to see Hillary Clinton return to the White House with Baracak Obama as her running mate. Sure, I'd be comphensated by living about seventeen extra years, but some of those would be in the eighties, and all of them would be filled with reruns. I'm not sure if I can stand to see the X-Files jump the shark again, or hear another Hanson song on the radio.

So I guess we're stuck with Bush in office and the twin towers flat as pancakes. Not that I could probably fix either of those anyway. At five years old, I would either wind up ignored or in a lab getting anal probes from mad scientists.